Today's pain

Here's today's pain in a nutshell-

1) Cold As You- Taylor Swift
2) Whatever Gets You Through Today- The Radio
3) Don't Look Away- Joshua Radin
4) Superman- Lazlo Bane
5) A Perfectly Good Heart- Taylor Swift
6) Go- Hanson
7) Back to You- Tinted Windows
8) Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
9) Metamorphosis One- Philip Glass
10) Once- Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
11) All the Way Down- Glen Hansard
12) Cosy in the Rocket- Psapp

Monday Monday...

Monday's soundtrack

1) Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis
2) Teardrops on My Guitar- Taylor Swift
3) Time of Your Life- Green Day
4) Tied Together With A Smile- Taylor Swift
5) I'm Only Me When I'm With You- Taylor Swift
6) Sometime Around Midnight- The Airborne Toxic Event
7) You Found Me- The Fray
8) The Good Kind- The Wreckers
9) Claire de Lune- Debussy
10) Accidental Deth- Rilo Kiley
11) Watch Over Me- Hanson
12) Cosy in the Rocket- Psapp

only one more week until the Tinted Windows album is out!

"Should've Picked Me"

Song I just wrote called "Should've Picked Me"

"I've been crying and fighting
the urge to break free
I don't know what to do
since you left me
It's never darkest right before the dawn
It's always darkest before it's all the way gone
So I guess I will just stay alone
and let my heart die on it's own
you could have me if you wanted
but you don't
no you don't

You should've picked me
you said that you would leave
she doesn't love you like I do
you should be right here
and always be near
instead you tore this all apart
when you should've picked me

And I'm not sure you ever really
meant the words you said
I shouldn't be the only one
fighting for this not to end
now we're both stuck living in misery
cuz..

You should've picked me
you said that you would leave
she doesn't love you like I do
you should be right here
and always be near
instead you tore this all apart
when you should've picked me

I'm the one who loves you unconditionally
so get up baby and fight for me
please fight for me
cuz...

You should've picked me
you said that you would leave
she doesn't love you like I do
you should be right here
and always be near
instead you tore this all apart
when you should've picked me

You could have me and your life if you wanted"


This song for me represents how if you really, truly love and care for someone with your whole heart, then you should fight to keep that person in your life no matter what. There are always bumps in the road, but there's nothing that love can't overcome. Things have a way of working out when you have that one true love by your side. I know I've proven that my love is strong and willing. Still, it doesn't seem to matter. But even though he doesn't want to try to be with me, I still want him to care about me. I still want him to talk to me. I still feel such a deep connection to him even after all this time and that will never change.

Tied Together With a Smile

My favorite song lyric right now-

"Hold on, baby you're losing it
the water's high, you're jumping into it
and no one knows, you're letting go
you cry, but you don't tell anyone
that you might not be the golden one
and you're tied together with a smile
but you're coming undone"

by Taylor Swift

Why can't I write stuff like that? Everything I write sucks. I should just give it up. It's not like I'm gonna be the next Taylor Swift or anything. I'm not gonna be the next anything.

Not a good day

So far this has not been a good day. Granted it's only 9:17 am, but it's not gotten off to a good start at all. If a certain someone happens to read this- you can talk to me. I'm sorry if you saw me cry the day before you left, but don't let that stop you from talking to me. I cry everyday, it's nothing new. I just don't want to lose all connection to you. It hurts way too much.

Sunday Soundtrack

Just in case anyone cares, here was today's soundtrack

1) Teardrops on My Guitar- Taylor Swift, listened to this about 10 million times today
2) Forever and Always- Taylor Swift, "back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything? I was there when you said forever and always"
3) Let Me Sign- Robert Pattinson
4) Luka- Suzanne Vega, beautifully written song. makes me cry
5) I'm Only Me When I'm With You- Taylor Swift
6) Cath...- Death Cab For Cutie
7) Breathe Me- Sia
8) Runaway Run- Hanson
9) Bella's Lullaby- Carter Burwell
10) Head Over Feet- Alanis Morissette

I miss you

Just some lyrics I wrote today. The actual title is the name of the person it's about. I miss you more than I could possibly express. I would do anything for you.


"Sitting in your car
in a crowded parking lot
you held my face inside your hands
and the whole world was forgot
you pressed my hand against your heart
you held me underneath the trees
down in the park
you kissed my lips
and the whole world was forgot

The nights in the hotel
the first time you said the words
the nights spent holding the phone
thinking of you and feeling less and less alone
Oh, 1, 2, 3 mix cd began it all
began our love, I thought we'd never fall

and now you're gone

I guess this is why I write songs
I've got nothing profound to say
just spilling my heart down
to preserve you in words
to remember every day we spent
to preserve you in pages
so I will never forget
No I won't ever forget
I won't ever change
time may pass, but I will love you just the same"


I LOVE YOU.