My fault

Sometimes I really feel like this is all my fault. Like the reason things went downhill and the reason for the split is my fault. I know he's scared of losing the most important thing to him, but honestly, nowadays, that can't happen unless you really are a truly terrible person and there is proof of that, and he is neither a terrible person nor is there any proof of anything wrong doing on his part. So it has to be my fault. I know I was scared for certain people in my life to know about us and it probably made it look like I was never gonna take that step, but thats not true. I took the step already. They know what happened and they know I want it back more than anything in this world. But I don't think I'm ever gonna be given that chance again. I blew it. I screwed it up. In other words, maybe I deserve to suffer and be miserable because I had the greatest guy in the entire world and now I'm never gonna get the chance to be with him again. I'd give anything for even just one more day. I'd trade the rest of my days for just one more with him.